Spiritual Training of Children

Q. I have a young child who is three years old, and I want to instill faith in his heart. What should I do?

A. Praise be to Allaah.  

A child who is three years old should see his mother and father praying, and he should hear them reciting Qur’aan, for if a child hears his parents and brothers reciting Qur’aan and daily dhikr repeatedly, this nourishes his soul and brings his heart to life as the rain brings life to a dry barren land, because when a child hears his parents remembering Allaah and sees them worshipping him, that has an effect on his own words and actions. 

An example of that is the following story of a young girl: 

Her mother finished her wudoo’, and her three-year-old daughter washed her face and hands, copying her mother, then she raised her forefinger saying, “Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah.” This indicates that the little girl had been watching her mother and noticed that there was a specific dhikr to be said after making wudoo’. 

In another story:

A mother did the Sunnah of wudoo’ (saying “Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah”) one day, then she got up to finish her housework. Her daughter had gotten used to seeing her mother sitting after praying until she had finished reciting the du’aa’s to be said after prayer, and she noticed that her mother had got up straight after doing the Sunnah prayer, so she said to her, “Why did you get up before saying, “Astaghfir-Allaah”?
This attitude indicates how closely children watch their parents. 

Man is exposed to sickness and diseases, and a child may fall ill. Then his illness should be an opportunity to strengthen his relationship with Allaah, by reminding him of the virtues of good health, and that it is the blessing of Allaah, and that we must thank Him for that, and that man has no power and no strength except with his Lord.

When giving him medicine or going to the hospital, we should tell him that healing comes from Allaah, but these are means which Allaah has enjoined upon us. Then we should get them accustomed to ruqyah as prescribed in sharee’ah.

We should tell them about the example of the Prophets and how they took the necessary means and put their trust in Allaah, such as the story of Ayyoob (peace be upon him) and his sickness, and the story of Ya’qoob (peace be upon him), when he told his sons to enter by different gates, and that would not avail them against Allaah at all, and how he left the matter to Allaah.

Allaah tells us that Ya’qoob said: 

“Do not enter by one gate, but enter by different gates, and I cannot avail you against Allaah at all” 
[Yoosuf 12:67 – interpretation of the meaning]  

One of the most important things is to remind children to seek reward and to bear sickness and medical treatment with patience.

One little girl reminded her mother that Allaah wanted her to bear with patience the sickness which the doctors described as chronic. That was according to human doctors, but healing is in the hand of Allaah.
The mother remembered that this child had to take medicine twice every day, and her mother always reminded her to seek reward. One day this little girl said to her mother, “I will get reward because I am taking this medicine.” She said that as if she felt proud of this reward and the reward that her family and siblings would receive. 

From Ummahaat qurb Abnaa’ihinna, p. 21.
ISLAM QA

Chapter 8: Allah curses whoever curses his parents

al-Adab al-Mufrad
[Imam Bukhari (Rahimahullah)]

{Chapter 8: Allah curses whoever curses his parents}`

17. Abu’t-Tufayl said,

“‘Ali was asked, ‘Did the Prophet (may the peace and salutations be upon him) give you something special which he did not give to anyone else?’

He replied, ‘The Messenger of Allah (may the peace and salutations be upon him) did not give me anything special which he did not give to people except for what I have in my scabbard.’

He brought out a booklet on which was written:

‘Allah curses whoever sacrifices an animal to other than Allah.

Allah curses whoever steals a landmark.

Allah curses whoever curses his parents.

Allah curses whoever gives shelter to an innovator (in the Deen, or one who brings corruption in the earth).’”

Chapter 7: Disobedience to Parents

al-Adab al-Mufrad
[Imam Bukhari (Rahimahullah)]

{Chapter 7: Disobedience to Parents}

15. Abu Bakra reported that the Messenger of Allah (may the peace and salutations be upon him) said,

“‘Shall I tell you which is the worst of the major sins?’ He repeated that three times.

They replied, ‘Yes, Messenger of Allah’.

He said, ‘Associating something else with Allah and disobeying parents.’

He had been reclining, but then he said up and said, ‘Beware of Lying.’”

Abu Bakra added, “He continued to repeat it until I wished he would stop”

16. Warrad, the scribe of al-Mughira b. Shu’ba, said,

“Mu’awiya wrote to al-Mughira and asked, ‘Write down for me something that you heard the Messenger of Allah (may the peace and salutations be upon him) say.’”

Warrad said, “He dictated to me and I wrote out, ‘I heard him forbid asking too many questions, wasting money and idle talk.’”

Chapter 6: On Repaying Parents

al-Adab al-Mufrad

[Imam Bukhari (Rahimahullah)]

{Chapter 6: On Repaying Parents} 

10. Abu Hurayra said, “The Prophet (may the peace and salutations be upon him) said,
"A child cannot repay his father unless he finds him as a slave and the buys him and sets him free."

11. Abu Burda b. Abu Musa related that, 

"Ibn 'Umar saw a Yamani man going around the House making tawaf while carrying his mother on his back and chanting, 'I am her humble camel. …I carried her more than she carried me.' 

Then the man asked, 'Ibn 'Umar, do you think that I have repaid her?' 

He replied, 'No, not even for a single groan (of the birth pangs she suffered).' 

Then Ibn 'Umar performed tawaf and came to the Maqam (Ibrahim) and prayed two rak'ats. He said, 'Ibn Abu Musa, every two rak'ats make up for everything (expiates) that has happened before them.'" 

12. Abu Marra, the mawla of ‘Aqil (ibn Abu Talib) [also known as mawla of Umm Hani bint Abu Talib], said:
"Marwan [the Governer of Madinah] used to appoint Abu Hurayra as his deputy – (when Marwan left Madinah for Hajj) and he used to live in Dhu'l-Hulayfa. His mother was in one house and he was in another. When he wanted to go out, he would stop at her door and say, 'Peace be upon you, mother, and the mercy of Allah and His blessing.'
She would reply, 'And peace be upon you, my son, and the mercy of Allah and His blessing.'
Then he said, 'May Allah have mercy on you as you raised me when I was a child.'
She answered, 'May Allah have mercy on you as you were dutiful to me when I was old.'
Whenever Abu Hurayra wished to enter, he would do something similar.”

13. 'Abdullah b. 'Amr said,
"A man came to the Prophet (may the peace and salutations be upon him) and made a pledge to him that he would do hijra (emigrate). He left his parents weeping.'
The Prophet said, 'Go back to them and make them laugh as you made them weep.'"
14. Abu Murra, the mawla of Umm Hani' bint Abi Talib, said that he rode with Abu Hurayra to his land in al-'Aqiq. When he entered his land, he shouted out in his loudest voice, 'Peace be upon you, mother, and the mercy of Allah and His blessing!'
She replied, 'And peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah and His blessing.'
He said, 'May Allah have mercy on you as you raised me when I was a child.'
She replied, 'My son, may Allah reward you well and be pleased with you as you were dutiful towards me when I was old.' "  

Musa (one of the narrators of this Hadith) said, "The name of Abu Hurayra was ‘Abdullah b. ‘Amr."

Chapter 5: On Kind Words to Parents

al-Adab al-Mufrad

[Imam Bukhari (Rahimahullah)]

{Chapter 5: On Kind Words to Parents}

8. Taysala b. Mayyas said,

"I was with the Najadites [Khawaarij (Kharijites), followers of Najdah ibn ‘Amir] when I committed wrong actions which I supposed to be major sins. I mentioned that to Ibn 'Umar.  

He inquired, 'What are they?"

I replied, 'Such-and-such.'

He stated, 'These are not great sins. There are nine great sins and they are:

Associating partners with Allah;

Killing someone;

Desertion from the army when it is advancing;

Slandering a chaste woman;

Usury;

Consuming an orphan's property;

Heresy in the (sacred) mosque (of Makkah);

Scoffing (at Muslims); and,

Causing one’s parents to weep through disobedience.'

' Ibn 'Umar then said to me, 'Do you fear the Fire? Do you want to enter the Garden?'

I said, 'By Allah, yes!'

He asked, 'Are your parents still alive?'

I replied, 'My mother is.'

He said, 'By Allah, if you speak kindly to her and feed her, then you will definitely enter the Garden as long as you avoid the major wrong actions.'"

9. 'Urwa commented on the verse,

"Lower the wing of humility to them out of mercy." (al-Isra’ 17:24)

(It means): “Do not refuse them anything they love.”

Chapter 4: On Dutifulness to Parents, Even if their Treatment is Unjust

al-Adab al-Mufrad

[Imam Bukhari (Rahimahullah)]

{Chapter 4: On Dutifulness to Parents, Even if their Treatment is Unjust}

7. Ibn 'Abbas said,
"Any Muslim who has Muslim Parents and is dutiful to both of them seeking Allah’s Pleasure, Allah will open two gates of Jannah for him.
If there is only one parent, then one gate will be opened.
If he makes one of them angry, then Allah will not be pleased with him until that parent is pleased with him."
He (Ibn 'Abbas) was asked, "Even if they treat him unjustly?"
He said, "Even if they treat him unjustly."

Chapter 3: On Dutifulness to One's Father

al-Adab al-Mufrad

[Imam Bukhari (Rahimahullah)]

{Chapter 3: On Dutifulness to One's Father} 

5. Abu Hurayra said,
"Someone asked, 'Messenger of Allah, towards whom should I be dutiful?'
He said, 'Your mother.'
He was asked, 'Then towards whom?'
He said, 'Your mother.'
He was asked, 'Then towards whom?'
He said, 'Your mother.'
He was asked, 'Then towards whom?'
He replied, 'Your father.'"
6. "A man came to the Prophet of Allah (may the peace and salutations be upon him) and asked, 'What do you command me (to do)?' 

He replied, 'Be dutiful towards your mother.'
Then he asked him the same question again and he replied, 'Be dutiful towards your mother.'
He repeated it yet again and the Prophet replied, 'Be dutiful towards your mother.'
He repeated the question a fourth time and the reply was, 'Be dutiful towards your mother.'
Then he put the question a fifth time and the Prophet said, 'Be dutiful towards your father.'"

Chapter 2: On Dutifulness to One's Mother

al-Adab al-Mufrad

[Imam Bukhari (Rahimahullah)]

{Chapter 2: On Dutifulness to One's Mother}

3. Mu'awiya b. Haida said,
"I asked, 'Messenger of Allah, to whom should I be dutiful?'
He said, 'Your mother.'
I asked, 'Then towards whom?'
He replied, 'Your mother.'
Again I asked, 'Then towards whom?'
He answered, 'Your mother.'
I said, 'Then towards whom should I be dutiful?'
He said, 'Your father, and then the next nearest relative and then the next nearest.'"

4. 'Ata' b. Yasar said:
"A man came to Ibn 'Abbas and said, "I asked a woman to marry me and she refused to marry me. Another man asked her and she agreed to marry him. I became jealous and killed her. Is there any way for me to repent?"
He asked, "Is your mother alive?"
The man replied, "No".
Ibn 'Abbas said, "Repent to Allah, the Mighty and Exalted, and try to draw near Him as much as you can."

'Ata' said,
"I went and asked Ibn 'Abbas, 'Why did you ask him whether his mother was alive?'
He replied, 'I do not know of any action better for bringing a person near to Allah than dutifulness to his mother.'"

Chapter 1: On the Words of Allah, The Exalted, "We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents." (al-Ankabut 29:8)

al-Adab al-Mufrad

[Imam Bukhari (Rahimahullah)]

{Chapter 1: On the Words of Allah, The Exalted,

"We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents." (al-Ankabut 29:8)}

1. Abu 'Amr ash-Shaybani said,
"The owner of this house (and he pointed at the house of 'Abdullah b. Mas'ud) said, "I asked the Prophet (may the peace and salutations be upon him), which action Allah, the Almighty and Exalted, loves best.
He replied, 'Prayer at its proper time.'
I asked, 'And after that?'
He said, 'Then dutifulness to parents."
I asked, 'And after that?'
He said, 'Then jihad in the Way of Allah.'"
Ibn Mas'ud said: "He told me about these things. If I had asked him to tell me more, he would have told me more."

2. 'Abdullah ibn 'Umar said,
"The pleasure of the Lord lies in the pleasure of the parent. The anger of the Lord lies in the anger of the parent."