Spiritual Training of Children

Q. I have a young child who is three years old, and I want to instill faith in his heart. What should I do?

A. Praise be to Allaah.  

A child who is three years old should see his mother and father praying, and he should hear them reciting Qur’aan, for if a child hears his parents and brothers reciting Qur’aan and daily dhikr repeatedly, this nourishes his soul and brings his heart to life as the rain brings life to a dry barren land, because when a child hears his parents remembering Allaah and sees them worshipping him, that has an effect on his own words and actions. 

An example of that is the following story of a young girl: 

Her mother finished her wudoo’, and her three-year-old daughter washed her face and hands, copying her mother, then she raised her forefinger saying, “Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah.” This indicates that the little girl had been watching her mother and noticed that there was a specific dhikr to be said after making wudoo’. 

In another story:

A mother did the Sunnah of wudoo’ (saying “Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah”) one day, then she got up to finish her housework. Her daughter had gotten used to seeing her mother sitting after praying until she had finished reciting the du’aa’s to be said after prayer, and she noticed that her mother had got up straight after doing the Sunnah prayer, so she said to her, “Why did you get up before saying, “Astaghfir-Allaah”?
This attitude indicates how closely children watch their parents. 

Man is exposed to sickness and diseases, and a child may fall ill. Then his illness should be an opportunity to strengthen his relationship with Allaah, by reminding him of the virtues of good health, and that it is the blessing of Allaah, and that we must thank Him for that, and that man has no power and no strength except with his Lord.

When giving him medicine or going to the hospital, we should tell him that healing comes from Allaah, but these are means which Allaah has enjoined upon us. Then we should get them accustomed to ruqyah as prescribed in sharee’ah.

We should tell them about the example of the Prophets and how they took the necessary means and put their trust in Allaah, such as the story of Ayyoob (peace be upon him) and his sickness, and the story of Ya’qoob (peace be upon him), when he told his sons to enter by different gates, and that would not avail them against Allaah at all, and how he left the matter to Allaah.

Allaah tells us that Ya’qoob said: 

“Do not enter by one gate, but enter by different gates, and I cannot avail you against Allaah at all” 
[Yoosuf 12:67 – interpretation of the meaning]  

One of the most important things is to remind children to seek reward and to bear sickness and medical treatment with patience.

One little girl reminded her mother that Allaah wanted her to bear with patience the sickness which the doctors described as chronic. That was according to human doctors, but healing is in the hand of Allaah.
The mother remembered that this child had to take medicine twice every day, and her mother always reminded her to seek reward. One day this little girl said to her mother, “I will get reward because I am taking this medicine.” She said that as if she felt proud of this reward and the reward that her family and siblings would receive. 

From Ummahaat qurb Abnaa’ihinna, p. 21.
ISLAM QA

Ridding oneself of Arrogance

Ridding oneself of arrogance

Q. How should a person come over arrogance?

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Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

Arrogance is a blameworthy characteristic which is the feature of Iblees and his cohorts in this world, those on whose hearts Allaah has placed a seal.

The first one who showed arrogance towards Allaah and His creation was the accursed Iblees, when Allaah commanded him to prostrate to Adam and he refused and was arrogant, and said, “I am better than him (Adam), You created me from fire, and him You created from clay.”

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And surely, We created you (your father Adam) and then gave you shape (the noble shape of a human being); then We told the angels, ‘Prostrate yourselves to Adam’, and they prostrated themselves, except Iblees (Satan), he refused to be of those who prostrated themselves.

(Allaah) said: ‘What prevented you (O Iblees) that you did not prostrate yourself, when I commanded you?’ Iblees said: ‘I am better than him (Adam), You created me from fire, and him You created from clay’”
[Qur'an, al-A’raaf 7:11-12]

Arrogance is one of the characteristics of Iblees, so whoever wants to be arrogant should realize that he is acquiring a characteristic of the devils, and that he is not acquiring a characteristic of the noble angels who obeyed their Lord and fell down prostrate.

Moreover, arrogance may be the cause of a person being deprived of Paradise and may mean that the Lord of Glory will not even look at him, as it says in the following two ahaadeeth:

1 – It was narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“No one who has an atom’s-weight of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise.” A man said, “O Messenger of Allaah, what if a man likes his clothes and his shoes to look good?” He said, “Allaah is Beautiful and loves beauty. Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on people.”
[Narrated by Muslim, 91]

2 – It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“Whoever lets his garment drag along the ground out of pride, Allaah will not look at him on the Day of Resurrection.” Abu Bakr said: “Sometimes my garment slips down on one side, unless I pay attention to it.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “You are not doing that out of pride.”
[Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3465]

Secondly:

Pride is an attribute that is not befitting for anyone except Allaah. Whoever seeks to compete with Allaah in that, Allaah will destroy him, wreak vengeance on him and make things difficult for him.

It was narrated that Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri and Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of Allaah (S) said: “Might is His garment and pride is His cloak; whoever seeks to compete with Me concerning them, I will punish him.”
[Narrated by Muslim, 2620]

Al-Nawawi said: This is how it is narrated in all texts. The pronoun in the words ‘His garment’ and ‘His cloak’ refers to Allaah, and there is something omitted; what is meant is ‘Allaah says, ‘whoever seeks to compete with Me concerning them, I will punish him’.

What is meant by ‘seeks to compete with Me’ is seeking to acquire that characteristic in the sense of sharing in it.

This is a stern warning against arrogance which clearly demonstrates that it is haraam.
[Sharh Muslim, 16/173]

Everyone who tries to be arrogant and put himself above others, Allaah will bring him down among the lowest of the low, and will humiliate him, because he is going against reality, so Allaah will punish him by thwarting his aims; the punishment is to fit the crime.

The one who is arrogant towards the people will be trampled beneath the feet of the people on the Day of Resurrection, as a punishment for his arrogance.

It was narrated from ‘Amr ibn Shu’ayb via his father and grandfather that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“On the Day of Resurrection, the arrogant will be gathered like ants in the form of men. Humiliation will overwhelm them from all sides. They will be driven to a prison in Hell called Bawlas, with the hottest fire rising over them, and they will be given to drink of the juice of the inhabitants of Hell, which is teenat al-khabaal.”
[Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2492; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 2025]

Thirdly:

Arrogance is of several types, including the following:

1 – When a person does not accept the truth and produces false arguments against it, as we have mentioned in the hadeeth of ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood, “Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on people.”

2 – When a person admires himself for his beauty or handsomeness, or the fineness of his food or clothing, so he feels proud and arrogant and feels superior to people.

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said (or Abu’l-Qaasim (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said):
“Whilst a man was walking, dragging his garment with pride, with his hair nicely combed, Allaah caused the earth to swallow him and he will go on sinking in it until the Day of Resurrection.”
[Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3297; Muslim, 2088]

A similar case is the story of the friend of the man whose companion spoke to him arrogantly. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And he had property (or fruit) and he said to his companion, in the course of mutual talk: ‘I am more than you in wealth and stronger in respect of men’”
[Qur'an, al-Kahf 18:34]

It may be that he was boasting about his tribe and linage.

Fourthly:

One of the remedies for arrogance is to think of yourself as being just like other people and realize that they are like you, they were born from a mother and a father just as you were, and that taqwa (piety, fear of Allaah) is the true criterion of superiority.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Verily, the most honourable of you with Allaah is that (believer) who has At-Taqwa [i.e. he is one of the Muttaqoon (the pious)”
[Qur'an, al-Hujuraat 49:13]

The arrogant Muslim should realize that no matter what he achieves, he is still too weak to attain a stature like the mountains in height or rend nor penetrate the earth (cf. al-Isra’ 17:37), as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And turn not your face away from men with pride, nor walk in insolence through the earth. Verily, Allaah likes not any arrogant boaster.

And be moderate (or show no insolence) in your walking, and lower your voice. Verily, the harshest of all voices is the braying of the asses”
[Qur'an, Luqmaan 31:18-19]

Al-Qurtubi said:

The phrase “nor walk in insolence through the earth” is a prohibition of arrogance and is enjoining humility. Marah (translated here as insolence) is excessive joy, or it was said that it means being arrogant in walking, or thinking too highly of oneself.

Qutaadah said: it means showing off in walking; or it was said that it means vanity.

All of these suggestions are close in meaning, but they may be divided into two categories: those which are blameworthy and those which are praiseworthy.

Arrogance, vanity, showing off and thinking too highly of oneself are blameworthy; joy and energy are praiseworthy.
[Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 10/260]

Another remedy for arrogance is for a person to realize that on the Day of Resurrection he will be gathered in a small form like an ant which will be trampled underfoot. Arrogant people are hated by other people just as they are hated by Allaah; people love humble, tolerant and gentle people, and they hate those who are harsh and cruel to people.

Another remedy is to remember that he and urine came out of the same place; that he began as a despised drop of sperm and he will end up as a rotten corpse, and that in between he is a vessel for faeces.  So what does he have to feel so proud and arrogant about?!

We ask Allaah to rid us all of arrogance and make us humble.

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A
Ref: http://islamqa.com/en/ref/9229