Six Stances for the believer during pre-decreed difficult times

When something pre-decreed happens to the servant, and it is something which he dislikes, then he must adopt six stances regarding it:

1. The stance of Tawheed:

 

And that Allaah is the One Who decreed it, willed it, and created it. Whatever Allaah willed occurs, and whatever He did not will shall not occur.

 

2. The stance of Justice (al-'Adl):

 

And that His Judgement applies and occurs upon him, and whatever He ordains concerning him is fully just.

 

3. The stance of Mercy (ar-Rahmah):

 

And that His Mercy in this decreed matter outweighs His Anger, and His punishing; and that Mercy is its basis.

 

4. The stance of Wisdom (al-Hikmah):

 

And that His Wisdom - He the One free of all imperfections - necessitated that it should occur. He did not ordain it without purpose, or frivolously.

 

5. The stance of Praise (al-Hamd):

 

And that He - the Perfect - deserves full praise for that, from every aspect.

 

6. The stance of Servitude (al-'Uboodiyyah):

 

And that he is entirely a slave, in every sense. The Judgements and Decrees of his Master apply and occur upon him, since he belongs to Him and is His slave. So He controls him such that he is under His Decrees which relate to the creation, just as He controls him in his being under His Judgements relating to the Religion. So it is fully appropriate that these Decrees occur upon him.

 Source: Al-Fawaa`id of Imaam Ibn Al-Qayyim

Spiritual Training of Children

Q. I have a young child who is three years old, and I want to instill faith in his heart. What should I do?

A. Praise be to Allaah.  

A child who is three years old should see his mother and father praying, and he should hear them reciting Qur’aan, for if a child hears his parents and brothers reciting Qur’aan and daily dhikr repeatedly, this nourishes his soul and brings his heart to life as the rain brings life to a dry barren land, because when a child hears his parents remembering Allaah and sees them worshipping him, that has an effect on his own words and actions. 

An example of that is the following story of a young girl: 

Her mother finished her wudoo’, and her three-year-old daughter washed her face and hands, copying her mother, then she raised her forefinger saying, “Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah.” This indicates that the little girl had been watching her mother and noticed that there was a specific dhikr to be said after making wudoo’. 

In another story:

A mother did the Sunnah of wudoo’ (saying “Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah”) one day, then she got up to finish her housework. Her daughter had gotten used to seeing her mother sitting after praying until she had finished reciting the du’aa’s to be said after prayer, and she noticed that her mother had got up straight after doing the Sunnah prayer, so she said to her, “Why did you get up before saying, “Astaghfir-Allaah”?
This attitude indicates how closely children watch their parents. 

Man is exposed to sickness and diseases, and a child may fall ill. Then his illness should be an opportunity to strengthen his relationship with Allaah, by reminding him of the virtues of good health, and that it is the blessing of Allaah, and that we must thank Him for that, and that man has no power and no strength except with his Lord.

When giving him medicine or going to the hospital, we should tell him that healing comes from Allaah, but these are means which Allaah has enjoined upon us. Then we should get them accustomed to ruqyah as prescribed in sharee’ah.

We should tell them about the example of the Prophets and how they took the necessary means and put their trust in Allaah, such as the story of Ayyoob (peace be upon him) and his sickness, and the story of Ya’qoob (peace be upon him), when he told his sons to enter by different gates, and that would not avail them against Allaah at all, and how he left the matter to Allaah.

Allaah tells us that Ya’qoob said: 

“Do not enter by one gate, but enter by different gates, and I cannot avail you against Allaah at all” 
[Yoosuf 12:67 – interpretation of the meaning]  

One of the most important things is to remind children to seek reward and to bear sickness and medical treatment with patience.

One little girl reminded her mother that Allaah wanted her to bear with patience the sickness which the doctors described as chronic. That was according to human doctors, but healing is in the hand of Allaah.
The mother remembered that this child had to take medicine twice every day, and her mother always reminded her to seek reward. One day this little girl said to her mother, “I will get reward because I am taking this medicine.” She said that as if she felt proud of this reward and the reward that her family and siblings would receive. 

From Ummahaat qurb Abnaa’ihinna, p. 21.
ISLAM QA

Chapter 8: Allah curses whoever curses his parents

al-Adab al-Mufrad
[Imam Bukhari (Rahimahullah)]

{Chapter 8: Allah curses whoever curses his parents}`

17. Abu’t-Tufayl said,

“‘Ali was asked, ‘Did the Prophet (may the peace and salutations be upon him) give you something special which he did not give to anyone else?’

He replied, ‘The Messenger of Allah (may the peace and salutations be upon him) did not give me anything special which he did not give to people except for what I have in my scabbard.’

He brought out a booklet on which was written:

‘Allah curses whoever sacrifices an animal to other than Allah.

Allah curses whoever steals a landmark.

Allah curses whoever curses his parents.

Allah curses whoever gives shelter to an innovator (in the Deen, or one who brings corruption in the earth).’”

Chapter 7: Disobedience to Parents

al-Adab al-Mufrad
[Imam Bukhari (Rahimahullah)]

{Chapter 7: Disobedience to Parents}

15. Abu Bakra reported that the Messenger of Allah (may the peace and salutations be upon him) said,

“‘Shall I tell you which is the worst of the major sins?’ He repeated that three times.

They replied, ‘Yes, Messenger of Allah’.

He said, ‘Associating something else with Allah and disobeying parents.’

He had been reclining, but then he said up and said, ‘Beware of Lying.’”

Abu Bakra added, “He continued to repeat it until I wished he would stop”

16. Warrad, the scribe of al-Mughira b. Shu’ba, said,

“Mu’awiya wrote to al-Mughira and asked, ‘Write down for me something that you heard the Messenger of Allah (may the peace and salutations be upon him) say.’”

Warrad said, “He dictated to me and I wrote out, ‘I heard him forbid asking too many questions, wasting money and idle talk.’”

Chapter 6: On Repaying Parents

al-Adab al-Mufrad

[Imam Bukhari (Rahimahullah)]

{Chapter 6: On Repaying Parents} 

10. Abu Hurayra said, “The Prophet (may the peace and salutations be upon him) said,
"A child cannot repay his father unless he finds him as a slave and the buys him and sets him free."

11. Abu Burda b. Abu Musa related that, 

"Ibn 'Umar saw a Yamani man going around the House making tawaf while carrying his mother on his back and chanting, 'I am her humble camel. …I carried her more than she carried me.' 

Then the man asked, 'Ibn 'Umar, do you think that I have repaid her?' 

He replied, 'No, not even for a single groan (of the birth pangs she suffered).' 

Then Ibn 'Umar performed tawaf and came to the Maqam (Ibrahim) and prayed two rak'ats. He said, 'Ibn Abu Musa, every two rak'ats make up for everything (expiates) that has happened before them.'" 

12. Abu Marra, the mawla of ‘Aqil (ibn Abu Talib) [also known as mawla of Umm Hani bint Abu Talib], said:
"Marwan [the Governer of Madinah] used to appoint Abu Hurayra as his deputy – (when Marwan left Madinah for Hajj) and he used to live in Dhu'l-Hulayfa. His mother was in one house and he was in another. When he wanted to go out, he would stop at her door and say, 'Peace be upon you, mother, and the mercy of Allah and His blessing.'
She would reply, 'And peace be upon you, my son, and the mercy of Allah and His blessing.'
Then he said, 'May Allah have mercy on you as you raised me when I was a child.'
She answered, 'May Allah have mercy on you as you were dutiful to me when I was old.'
Whenever Abu Hurayra wished to enter, he would do something similar.”

13. 'Abdullah b. 'Amr said,
"A man came to the Prophet (may the peace and salutations be upon him) and made a pledge to him that he would do hijra (emigrate). He left his parents weeping.'
The Prophet said, 'Go back to them and make them laugh as you made them weep.'"
14. Abu Murra, the mawla of Umm Hani' bint Abi Talib, said that he rode with Abu Hurayra to his land in al-'Aqiq. When he entered his land, he shouted out in his loudest voice, 'Peace be upon you, mother, and the mercy of Allah and His blessing!'
She replied, 'And peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah and His blessing.'
He said, 'May Allah have mercy on you as you raised me when I was a child.'
She replied, 'My son, may Allah reward you well and be pleased with you as you were dutiful towards me when I was old.' "  

Musa (one of the narrators of this Hadith) said, "The name of Abu Hurayra was ‘Abdullah b. ‘Amr."

Wisdom behind Calamities that befell the Prophets

Q. We know that calamities may be because of sins and that they expiate sins, but what is the wisdom behind the calamities that befell the Prophets?.

A. Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

One of the reasons for calamities is sins, but that is not the only reason. Allaah may test some of His slaves who did not sin, so that they may attain the reward of the patient, and thus be raised in status. Allaah may also test some children, who have no sin. In order to learn more about the wisdom behind calamities, please see question no. 35914.

Secondly:

The most severely tested of the people are the Prophets.

Al-Tirmidhi (2398) narrated that Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I said: “O Messenger of Allaah, which of the people are most sorely tested?” He said: “The Prophets, then the next best and the next best. A man will be tested in accordance with his level of religious commitment. If his religious commitment is strong, he will be tested more severely, and if his religious commitment is weak, he will be tested in accordance with his religious commitment. Calamity will keep befalling a person until he walks on the earth with no sin on him.” Classed assaheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 143.

In His Book, Allaah has mentioned different kinds of calamity that befell the Prophets.

Allaah says:

“And indeed, We gave Moosa (Moses) the Book and followed him up with a succession of Messengers. And We gave ‘Isa (Jesus), the son of Maryam (Mary), clear signs and supported him with Rooh-ul-Qudus [Jibreel (Gabriel)]. Is it that whenever there came to you a Messenger with what you yourselves desired not, you grew arrogant? Some you disbelieved and some you killed”

[al-Baqarah 2:87]

“And when it is said to them (the Jews), ‘Believe in what Allaah has sent down,’ they say, ‘We believe in what was sent down to us.’ And they disbelieve in that which came after it, while it is the truth confirming what is with them. Say (O Muhammad to them): ‘Why then have you killed the Prophets of Allaah aforetime, if you indeed have been believers?’”

[al-Baqarah 2:91]

“Then if they reject you (O Muhammad), so were Messengers rejected before you, who came with Al‑Baiyyinaat (clear signs, proofs, evidences) and the Scripture and the Book of Enlightenment”

[Aal ‘Imraan 3:184]

“And (remember) when Moosa (Moses) said to his people: ‘O my people! Why do you annoy me while you know certainly that I am the Messenger of Allaah to you?’ So when they turned away (from the path of Allaah), Allaah turned their hearts away (from the Right Path). And Allaah guides not the people who are Faasiqoon (rebellious, disobedient to Allaah)”

[al-Saff 61:5]

“And among them are men who annoy the Prophet (Muhammad) and say: ‘He is (lending his) ear (to every news).’ Say: ‘He listens to what is best for you; he believes in Allaah; has faith in the believers; and is a mercy to those of you who believe.’ But those who annoy Allaah’s Messenger (Muhammad) will have a painful torment”

[al-Tawbah 9:61]

Ibraaheem (peace be upon him) was tested with the enmity of his father and his people, and by being thrown into the fire.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“They said: ‘Burn him and help your aalihah (gods), if you will be doing.’

69. We (Allaah) said: ‘O fire! Be you coolness and safety for Ibraaheem (Abraham)!’

70. And they wanted to harm him, but We made them the worst losers”

[al-Anbiya’ 21:68-70]

And he was tested with the command to sacrifice his son Isma’eel

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And, when he (his son) was old enough to walk with him, he said: ‘O my son! I have seen in a dream that I am slaughtering you (offering you in sacrifice to Allaah). So look what you think!’ He said: ‘O my father! Do that which you are commanded, In sha’ Allaah (if Allaah wills), you shall find me of As‑Saabiroon (the patient).’

103. Then, when they had both submitted themselves (to the Will of Allaah), and he had laid him prostrate on his forehead (or on the side of his forehead for slaughtering);

104. We called out to him: ‘O Abraham!

105. You have fulfilled the dream’ Verily, thus do We reward the Muhsinoon (good‑doers. See 2:112).

106. Verily, that indeed was a manifest trial.

107. And We ransomed him with a great sacrifice (i.e.— a ram)”

[al-Saaffaat 37:102-107]

Ibn al-Qayyim said in al-Fawaa’id (p. 42)

The path is the path for which Adam exerted himself, and for which Nooh wept, and al-Khaleel was thrown into the fire, and Ismaa’eel was laid down to be sacrificed, and Yoosuf was sold for a low price and remained in prison for several years, and Zakariya was cut in two with a saw, and Yahya was slaughtered, and Ayyoob suffered severe illness, and Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) suffered poverty and all sorts of trials and tests. End quote.

Our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was told of the calamities that he would face from the first day of his Prophethood.

Waraqah ibn Nawfal said: “Would that I were a young man, would that I would be alive when your people expel you.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Will they expel me?” He said: “Yes. No man has ever come with that which you have brought but he was faced with hostility. If I live to see that day, I will support you strongly…” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (4).

Thirdly:

With regard to the wisdom behind the calamities that befell the Prophets, Ibn al-Qayyim said in Badaa’i’ al-Fawaa’id (2/452):

Just as Allaah protects the Prophets and takes care of them, so too He tests them as He wills with the kaafirs’ persecution of them.

1- So that they may attain a level where they deserve His honour in full.

2- So that those who come after them of their nations and successors will be consoled if they are persecuted by the people; they will see what happened to the Messengers and Prophets, so they will be patient and content and will follow their example.

3- So that the kuffaar may get carried away in their sin and thus will deserve the punishment that is prepared for them in this world and in the Hereafter, so Allaah will destroy them because of their enmity and aggression, and the earth will be cleansed of them.

These are some of the reasons why Allaah tested His Prophets and Messengers with the persecution of their people. Great Wisdom is His and from Him come perfect blessings. There is no god but Him and no Lord besides Him. End quote.

Ibn al-Qayyim said in Miftaah Dar al-Sa’aadah (1/299-301):

If you ponder Allaah’s wisdom in that with which He tests His slaves and chosen ones, by means of which He directs them to achieve the highest goals and reach the highest positions, which they could not have achieved without these tests and trials… all these tests and trials are in fact a kind of honour, for while they appear to be trials and tests, in fact they are mercy and blessings. How many great blessings from Allaah are the direct consequences of tests and trials?

Think about the story of our father Adam (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and how his test ended with him being chosen and brought close to Allaah, and repenting and being guided and raised in status.

Think about the story of our second father Nooh (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and how his test and patience with his people all those centuries led to his victory, when the people of earth were drowned in answer to his prayer, and mankind after that were all descended from his offspring, and Allaah made him the fifth of five, namely the Messengers of strong will (cf. al-Ahqaaf 46:35), who are the best of the Messengers. And Allaah commanded His Messenger and Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to be patient like him, and praised him for his gratitude, saying (interpretation of the meaning): “Verily, he was a grateful slave” [al-Isra’ 17:3], and He described him as being perfect in patience and gratitude.

And think about the story of our third father Ibraaheem (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), the imam of the monotheists and the Shaykh of the Prophets, the pillar of the world and the Close Friend of the Lord of the Worlds among the sons of Adam. Think about what his trials and patience and his offering himself to Allaah led to. Think how his offering himself to Allaah and supporting His religion led to Allaah taking him as a close friend (khaleel) for Himself…. And Allaah multiplied his descendants and blessed them and increased them until they filled the world, and He caused Prophethood and holy Books to be limited to his progeny thereafter, and He brought forth from them Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and commanded him to follow the path of his father Ibraaheem.

Then think about the one who spoke with Allaah, Moosa (peace be upon him), and what his trials and tests from the day of his birth until the end of his life led to, until Allaah spoke to him directly and brought him close to Him, He wrote to Torah for him with His hand and raised him up to the highest heavens, and He forgave him for what He may not forgive anyone else, for he threw the Tablets to the ground and they broke, and he seized the beard of the Prophet of Allaah Haroon and pulled him towards him, and he smacked the face of the Angel of Death and put out his eye, and he argued with his Lord on the night of the Isra’ concerning the Messenger of Allaah, but his Lord loved him in spite of all that, and none of that made his Lord get upset with him, or lowered his status before Him. Rather he is close to Allaah. Were it not for the great trials and calamities that he had already gone through for the sake of Allaah and the immense hardships that he had suffered with Pharaoh and his people then with the Children of Israel, and the harm they caused him and the patience with which he bore it, he could not have achieved all that.

Think about the Messiah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his patience in dealing with his people, his forbearance for the sake of Allaah and how much he had to put up with, until Allaah raised him up and cleansed him of those who disbelieved and wrought vengeance upon his enemies, scattering them throughout the earth and taking away their kingdom and their pride until the end of time.

And when you come to the story of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and think about his experience with his people and his patience for the sake of Allaah, how he put up with things that no other Prophet before him had had to bear, facing all kinds of situations, safety and fear, richness and poverty, security and stability in his own homeland then moving away and leaving it for the sake of Allaah, the killing of his loved ones and friends before his eyes, the kaafirs’ persecution of him in word and deed, using magic, lies and fabrications against him, but despite all that he was patient in obeying the command of Allaah and calling people to Allaah. No Prophet was persecuted in the way that he was persecuted, or went through what he went through for the sake of Allaah, and no Prophet was rewarded as he was rewarded, for Allaah raised high his fame (cf. al-Sharh 94:4), joined his name to His and made him the leader of all mankind; He made him the closest of creation to Him, the greatest in status before Him and the one whose intercession is always accepted. Thus these trials and calamities were in fact an honour for him, by means of which Allaah increased him in honour and virtue, and granted him the highest status.

And this is the case with his heirs after him; each one will have his share of trials and tests, which will help him to attain perfection according to his following of the Prophet.

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A
Ref: http://islamqa.com/en/ref/72265/

Chapter 5: On Kind Words to Parents

al-Adab al-Mufrad

[Imam Bukhari (Rahimahullah)]

{Chapter 5: On Kind Words to Parents}

8. Taysala b. Mayyas said,

"I was with the Najadites [Khawaarij (Kharijites), followers of Najdah ibn ‘Amir] when I committed wrong actions which I supposed to be major sins. I mentioned that to Ibn 'Umar.  

He inquired, 'What are they?"

I replied, 'Such-and-such.'

He stated, 'These are not great sins. There are nine great sins and they are:

Associating partners with Allah;

Killing someone;

Desertion from the army when it is advancing;

Slandering a chaste woman;

Usury;

Consuming an orphan's property;

Heresy in the (sacred) mosque (of Makkah);

Scoffing (at Muslims); and,

Causing one’s parents to weep through disobedience.'

' Ibn 'Umar then said to me, 'Do you fear the Fire? Do you want to enter the Garden?'

I said, 'By Allah, yes!'

He asked, 'Are your parents still alive?'

I replied, 'My mother is.'

He said, 'By Allah, if you speak kindly to her and feed her, then you will definitely enter the Garden as long as you avoid the major wrong actions.'"

9. 'Urwa commented on the verse,

"Lower the wing of humility to them out of mercy." (al-Isra’ 17:24)

(It means): “Do not refuse them anything they love.”

Chapter 4: On Dutifulness to Parents, Even if their Treatment is Unjust

al-Adab al-Mufrad

[Imam Bukhari (Rahimahullah)]

{Chapter 4: On Dutifulness to Parents, Even if their Treatment is Unjust}

7. Ibn 'Abbas said,
"Any Muslim who has Muslim Parents and is dutiful to both of them seeking Allah’s Pleasure, Allah will open two gates of Jannah for him.
If there is only one parent, then one gate will be opened.
If he makes one of them angry, then Allah will not be pleased with him until that parent is pleased with him."
He (Ibn 'Abbas) was asked, "Even if they treat him unjustly?"
He said, "Even if they treat him unjustly."

Chapter 3: On Dutifulness to One's Father

al-Adab al-Mufrad

[Imam Bukhari (Rahimahullah)]

{Chapter 3: On Dutifulness to One's Father} 

5. Abu Hurayra said,
"Someone asked, 'Messenger of Allah, towards whom should I be dutiful?'
He said, 'Your mother.'
He was asked, 'Then towards whom?'
He said, 'Your mother.'
He was asked, 'Then towards whom?'
He said, 'Your mother.'
He was asked, 'Then towards whom?'
He replied, 'Your father.'"
6. "A man came to the Prophet of Allah (may the peace and salutations be upon him) and asked, 'What do you command me (to do)?' 

He replied, 'Be dutiful towards your mother.'
Then he asked him the same question again and he replied, 'Be dutiful towards your mother.'
He repeated it yet again and the Prophet replied, 'Be dutiful towards your mother.'
He repeated the question a fourth time and the reply was, 'Be dutiful towards your mother.'
Then he put the question a fifth time and the Prophet said, 'Be dutiful towards your father.'"

Chapter 2: On Dutifulness to One's Mother

al-Adab al-Mufrad

[Imam Bukhari (Rahimahullah)]

{Chapter 2: On Dutifulness to One's Mother}

3. Mu'awiya b. Haida said,
"I asked, 'Messenger of Allah, to whom should I be dutiful?'
He said, 'Your mother.'
I asked, 'Then towards whom?'
He replied, 'Your mother.'
Again I asked, 'Then towards whom?'
He answered, 'Your mother.'
I said, 'Then towards whom should I be dutiful?'
He said, 'Your father, and then the next nearest relative and then the next nearest.'"

4. 'Ata' b. Yasar said:
"A man came to Ibn 'Abbas and said, "I asked a woman to marry me and she refused to marry me. Another man asked her and she agreed to marry him. I became jealous and killed her. Is there any way for me to repent?"
He asked, "Is your mother alive?"
The man replied, "No".
Ibn 'Abbas said, "Repent to Allah, the Mighty and Exalted, and try to draw near Him as much as you can."

'Ata' said,
"I went and asked Ibn 'Abbas, 'Why did you ask him whether his mother was alive?'
He replied, 'I do not know of any action better for bringing a person near to Allah than dutifulness to his mother.'"